Over the last weeks a few things have come up which make it necessary for me to clear up what exactly a man crush is, and what it isn’t. Many men out there will not own up to their man crush for fear of coming across less manly to their friends and loved ones.
The online Urban Dictionary defines “man crush” as “When a straight man has a crush on another man, not sexual, but kind of idolizing him.” To translate this into the paradigm Lewis sets up in his book The Four Loves, I think it borders the line between philo and eros. It has all the qualities of brotherly love and camaraderie, while at the same time adding something of eros’ “delighted preoccupation.” Once again let me emphasize the non-sexual nature of the man crush.
Most people turn to “Seinfeld” for the practical application of the Man Crush. The first instance of this strange relationship occurred in the episode “The Boyfriend.” Jerry finds himself hanging out with former Met pitcher Keith Hernandez, and can’t decide which shirt to wear. George’s more famous (and pathetic) man crush was focused on Elaine’s boyfriend Tony (Dan Cortese). George fretted over which sandwiches he liked, tried to copy his coolness by being with him, and worried about Tony’s opinion of him.
To begin the healing, I will declare my own man crush: Mike Rowe. While I watch his show “Dirty Jobs” I always feel a special connection to Mike. If we were to somehow meet and hang out, I feel the conversation would be great and our taste in beers would compliment each other. I also get a warm feeling when I see or hear him on the Ford commercials standing in-front of a sparkling F-150, knowing he would be pleased with my choice of a new truck. In addition Mike is not just a pretty face–although you have to admit he is a beautiful man. Before becoming a TV personality he was an opera singer. He also did a stint on the History Channel before making the switch to “Team” Discovery.
So, gentlemen! Let us stop living in the shadows of fear and shame and tell the world that we can be manly, heterosexual men and yet dream about hanging out with someone as cool as Mike Rowe. Declare you man crush now. . .or else I will out you myself. I have been making a list.
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